


Dripping Eyes, Flooded Lungs

by LongestWordintheDictionary



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtuber
Genre: Anxiety, College AU, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 21:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6873175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LongestWordintheDictionary/pseuds/LongestWordintheDictionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trying to describe to someone what it's like to have a panic attack, is like trying to tell a toddler not to pull at a dog's ears. They may or may not listen, and if they do, they won't understand what you're trying to say. Because you can't find the words that will make them truly hear you, and they don't have the experience to comprehend what you're saying. </p><p>(College AU with Mark and Jack as roommates, where Jack has math triggered anxiety)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dripping Eyes, Flooded Lungs

**Author's Note:**

> **Before You Read**
> 
> I tried my best not to romanticize panic attacks. I myself experience them so I know how serious and debilitating that they can be. That being said, the point of this work is to illustrate what a panic attack feels like, and to show what, in my experience, its like going through one when theres a person with you. To do that, I did use the septiplier ship, however I wrote it rather ambiguously, so you can choose to take their actions as platonic or romantic. Please enjoy :)

Jack had never been the best at math, hell, he was only taking the damned class because he needed a math for his degree. Most days, he could walk in, take his seat, and spend most of the time exchanging shitty doodles with his roommate Mark, but today wasn't most days. Today was test day, and he had been studying his ass off. He was hell bent on getting a B in this class, if it killed him. So when he sat down at his desk and felt his heart tense up, he willed the feelings away and tried his darnedest to pay attention to the review. Was it hot in here, or was it just him? Jack glanced around at his classmates, diligently taking notes. What the fuck was a logarithm again? He locked eyes with his roommate. Was it possible to actually sweat bricks?

Mark mouthed an 'are you okay?' Wait, he didn't remember learning how to find a Matrix, wasn't that a movie? Jack swallowed the bile in his throat and weakly nodded yes to his peer. The letters and numbers began to jumble together as he felt 20 pairs of eyes burning holes in his skin. Dammit he needed to concentrate, if he didn't focus for this review, he didn't stand a chance on the test. The test. The sheets of paper that could rip apart his shiny GPA. He could feel every single drop of sweat beaded up on his forehead. Breathe in. Breathe out. Focus on a spot on the wall and notice what's in your peripheral vision. 

'Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap' Who was making that ungodly noise? He glanced down at his anxious feet, shit it was him. A salty water droplet crashed into his paper and oh God was he crying? Shit people could see him crying. He had to go. Had to get out of here, get out of his skin which was shriveling up and crushing his lungs. His stomach dropped, his heart pounded, his head throbbed. The bathroom. Gaze trained to the floor, Jack leaped up and sped across the room. Out the door and across the hall where he ran into a vacant bathroom stall. They all saw him crying, saw how wrecked and pathetic he was. He clung to the cool of the tiled bathroom wall, trying to calm himself and not spiral into the void of panic that loomed closer with every shallow breath. Every muscle in his body was tight, as if each individual fiber was being compressed and mangled by a boa constrictor. He wanted to tear at his skin, distract himself from how the oxygen was stinging his lungs. His feet pressed hard into the floor, trying to ground himself and get rid of the painful electricity that was surging through his bones. 

Unable to contain the pain in his everything any longer, and with an audible sob, his knees gave way and he stumbled to the cement floor. His head beat against the concrete as he fell, sending a jolt of searing pain into his core. The sounds of metal beating back and forth invaded his ears, screeching like nails on a chalk board. And then something touched him. He screwed his eyes shut and flailed to get rid of the feeling, but it stayed there, and it gripped stronger. He wanted to scream, but his lungs were were dry and his voice ripped from his throat. Desperately, he tried to get away from the thing, but it only wrapped around him tighter, constricting him further and sending his limbs into a fear driven spasm. It was a monster or a beast or a cold blooded reptile. At his last flail, the thing let go and Jack stumbled into the corner of the stall to shake and sob. What was this nightmare and why wouldn't it just end. He felt the thing touch him again, but this time, he opened his eyes. It was Mark, and he looked as terrified as Jack felt. He could feel himself hyperventilating, someone had seen him. Seen him flailing and sobbing and breaking apart. Mark placed a hand on his shoulder and it burned, searing a handprint into his arm. He could see Mark's lips moving, but couldn't hear a thing. Jack felt cold, frigid, shattered, everything he hated. Mark was warm, painfully so, but a stark contrast to the empty tundra that he was lost in. He couldn't control it, the compulsion to feel more of the warmth, no matter how overwhelming. He dove into the man, hiding his face in Mark's shoulder, soaking in the warmth that burned his skin. His arms clenched around the other's torso, clinging to this sensation that was painful, yet soothing. Like antibiotics on a deep laceration. A pair of hands landed on his back, they were heavy, but they didn't hurt this time. Slowly, Jack began to surface, gasping for a few full breaths as he slowly regained his senses. He was in Mark's lap, his arms and legs curled around the other's waist and chest. His head was pressed firmly against Mark's shoulder, eyes crusted shut.

"You're gonna be alright buddy, I'm staying right here, you can talk whenever you're ready." Jack's ears finally rid themselves of the fog to hear Mark's calm stream of affirmations. Jack didn't want to face him. As nice as he appeared, God knows how miserably wrecked he had to have looked a few minutes ago. 

"Thank you," Jack mumbled into his shoulder, still not brave enough to look up.

"Don't mention it," Mark smiled, gently rubbing the irishman's back. Somewhere within himself, Jack found the courage to meet the other's face. Cautiously, he pulled away and glanced into Mark's soft brown eyes and sympathetic expression. 

"I'm sorry... This must be really weird for you." Jack murmured, sheepishly scooting out of Mark's lap.

"A bit," Mark chuckled. "But I hardly think you had control over whether or not things got weird." 

Jack could feel the tears coming back again, oh God he had made Mark uncomfortable.

"No, no no don't cry! It's fine! I'm not too weirded out or anything, it's really totally and completely fine," Mark stuttered, pulling Jack back in for a hug.

"I'm sorry." Jack murmured lowly, arms drooped at his sides despite Mark's genuine attempt to console him.

"Bud, it's totally fine, I promise." Mark smiled and got to his feet, extending a hand to help up Jack. "Come on, let's get you back to the dorms, I've got some canned tomato soup that I could heat up for you." 

Jack nodded, his heart swelling a bit, letting some of Mark's contagious smile trickle in. As soon as they exited the bathrooms though, it dropped again. "The test." He whispered in fear.

"Don't worry, I'll go grab our bags, you can email the professor later and I'm sure he'll let you re take it." Mark assured, walking into the classroom and grabbing their things.

"What if he doesn't?" Jack asked as the taller man came back out.

"Doesn't what?"

"Doesn't let me retake it."

"Well then I'll back you up, complain to the prof, and if push comes to shove take it up with the dean." Mark smiled, wrapping a comforting arm around Jack's shoulder. There was that swelling feeling again. 

"Thank you." Jack mumbled, his weak frame staying close to the strength radiating from Mark.

"It's really no problem at all, I'm just glad you're okay now." Mark paused, debating whether or not to say what was on his mind. "Do um.. do you want to talk about...what happened?" He murmured.

"Maybe later?" Jack responded, too tired still to process anything.

"Of course, whenever you're ready."

**Author's Note:**

> And there it is. Hopefully I was able to accurately capture the feeling of a panic attack. (If not I'm sorry)
> 
> If you want to chat with me, the comments are always open, and if you enjoyed the story but don't have the time to leave a comment, a kudos still gets the message across. :) Thank you so much for taking the time to read my little drabbles, it means a lot to me.
> 
> ~ x Ace


End file.
